The Semantics of Nonsense

I have so far used three ways to create poetic nonsense, through imagination, mangled translation, and crafty manipulation of speech recognition software. I can't say which is more fun.

I. Imagination
This piece is like an ancient creed,  its rhetoric quite noble -

The Code of Sirinthia 

The notion that by still grace we are made holy,
     is like kneading liquid turnips without butter.
Correct ungodly mayhem in steadfast devotion to cheese.
Knowest thy mercy leadeth all righteous manner
    of tumescence into the word inviolate,
    of spoons making chordless cheddar sounds through a tuba,
    of live piquant tamarinds in fish sauce painting mangoes,
    of dew-riddled salamanders speaking prickly lawnmower slang.
We, who sit in majesty, waken joyously
    to the reincarnation of rutabagas
    and recall the blows of those
    who never ceased to call, ever mightily,
    upon the liver of penguins.
By right conduct we uphold the breakfast meetings once held
    by the mighty sleepwalker kings,
    as the plundered princesses
    carry the grand makeshift cycle
    of the psychic pimple to a head.

Here is an example of crafting the utterly ridiculous without the aid of electronic software. The poem's inspiration was a friend of mine, who was asked what he believed in. His reply: "I'm a Sirinthian. We believe in the reincarnation of rutabagas." Soon after I crafted this to codify the tenets of said belief system. I posted it a few years back on craiglist, of all places, and got very useful feedback. A gentlemen suggested using the word uphold in lieu of behold, because it makes more sense semantically. I took the advice and learned a valuable lesson. Sometimes you need to make sense in order to be demented.

II. Mangled Translation

This is a piece inspired by a friend who suggested taking lyrics and running them back and forth through an online translator called Babel Fish -

Babel Fish Translation of Stairway to Heaven

German to Spanish to Russian to English (Edited) 

Sure, the lady has one! First she has reliably everything:

the sparks of gold and the purchase of stairs to the sky.

If purpose holds it there, if entire memory with the word is closed,

she stops and obtains that it has arrived.

And the stairs, she buys them to the sky.

It gives the instruction on the wall, but she wanted to be safe,

because sometimes words, they have two reasons.

In the shaft next to the flow, which the bird gives,

will be all our misgiven thought.

            Sometimes, form is a miracle. Oh, form, it is a miracle.

It gives sensation, which is received if I glance to the West

and my alcoholic stupor, which is necessary to go away into smoke rings,

is made longer by the jaunty ego of thought than by the shafts in question.

Form expresses miracles. Oh, form, it is a miracle.

And it is whispered that soon, if we all conduct the melody,

the Piper will order that we conclude.

There will be a new day for dawn,

against which they who desire resound,

and the forest will have an uproar of laughter.

If it is precipitated in the hedgerow,

what is alarming you now will require pliability

when the May queen sufficiently completes her job.

Yes, two clean roads, which can be exchanged

for the changing road they set on fire.

And it gives formation to the miracle.

When your head snores, you do not know

that the Piper is connecting to it.

Lady, can you hear the wind burn, and did you know

the stairs to your bed are whispering in wind?

Then as our road coils downward,

the curtains go more above our souls.

We give one lady we entirely know

the chance to show, in her white light intensity,

that everything returns to gold.

And if you pay strong attention,

the melody will finally arrive.

When one and one is everything

then by rock and by roller…

… you will not purchase stairs to the sky.

I actually did more than the title suggests, using the translator to put it from English to German to English to Spanish to English to Russian to English. Each time the words became more and more removed from the original, so that "a tree by the brook" became "the shaft next to the flow," etc. I like how the translation added the word not to the last line. Of course I then edited the end result some. Try your own song. It's actually a fun thing to do with friends! 

The overall resulting mess needed heavy editing to achieve a rhetorical effect. Just as with the poem before, the writer needs to consider the piece as a whole and how the words lead up to one another - semantically. So long as the work possesses some form of internal logic, an audience has a greater chance of appreciating the inanity.

III. Manipulating Speech Recognition Software (and Xtranormal)

I was pleased Windows 7 comes with speech recognition software, but irritated that it doesn't understand what I say as often as I like. I turned the whole thing into a game, shouting nonsense into the program, watching 60 % get misunderstood, and editing the end result. I then took the text and ran it through the Xtranormal Movie Maker and had a robot narrate. Here it is on YouTube -

It's all about the delivery. I think the robot does a nice job, plus it helps that I added special effects at key moments. Certain phrases get repeated. Repetition is a useful poetic device. Here the repetition emphasizes the deeply meaningful idea that St. Stephen is not the rain. I think that about sums it up.